The Supple Heart: Between Forgiving and Forgetting


Have you ever forgive someone? Who was the person you forgive? Do you feel better once you forgive them? Before I share about the difference between forgiving and forgetting, take a minute to think deeply about the feeling when you get hurt by someone you trust. How do you feel? How will you react once you know the truth? May you find the answers within your heart💞.

          Since when I was a kid, my parents had taught my siblings and I about forgiveness. When we tried to grab a toy, started an argument until took anyone’s stuff without asking permission. In the end, one of us needed to say "sorry" and the other party forgives by hugging or replying "it's okay". We don't know whether it's sincere, free-willing or just for parents' relief😇✌. It seemed like a simple act, but it needed the courage to do that. Meanwhile, the more I grow up, the more I realize that forgiveness is not that simple to be applied for some cases. When we were kids, we were more likely to forgive ‘easily’. Without any deep thought, consideration and, sometimes, contemplation💫. However, what if you need to forgive someone who did a big mistake or fatal guilt? Someone might sway your trust, take your big amount of money or murder your significant other. Sorry if I exaggerate a bit😛. The point is I want us to think about it before we make our decision, to forgive and to forget🙏.

1. Forgiving means training your heart elasticity💝

You may not be able to forget all the bad things that people do. You get hurt, lied, betrayed, back stabbed or deceived by your closest friends, families, or another significant other. will you forget what they’ve done to you? Come on, you don’t have amnesia, so how come you forget it😌? In fact, rather than trying so hard to force yourself in finding the way to “click the ‘delete’ button” in the memory, try to accept the ‘brokenhearted’ experience. Why so? Since you are the one who responsible for your mental health, it may help you to start a peaceful life back. As you learn a lesson in a hard way, you could see the problem with a new different perspective or point of view. You may understand the reason from the person who ‘hit’ you.

2. Forgiving takes time without your notice💔

The duration of bearing the pain and remembering the bad memories are different from one person to others. Obviously, everyone has to go through a different path. You cannot hurry and force someone to let go of their negative feelings. Sadness, disappointment, anger, despair or any other feeling is ACCEPTABLE. Take your time until you are ready. Stand up and give a new chance in order to see the person in different ways. Greet the person with a new heart. The ‘repaired’ heart. Fully repaired🙆. Enjoy your season of mourning. Before you try to console with a trusted person, try to write about your feeling and experience in a journal. Contemplate yourself. Eat healthy foods and do exercise. Keep moving forward since positive acts can create a positive mind. Forgiveness helps you to reborn yourself and renew your strengths💪.

3. Forgiving is totally different from reconciliation💘

I would like to relate this to my previous blog post about having a toxic relationship. You have a full right to make and respect your decisions. Same goes to end up a toxic relationship. While depriving negative persons from your life, it may help you to derive your personal tranquility🌵. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you still connected with them physically, emotionally, financially or even sexually🙅. You are consciously responsible for your own life matters. Being content in all strong-built relationships is the ultimate key to enjoy your daily basis.

Before you think you are weak and scattered, please try to remember this❗. Before you think you cannot forgive or forget, remember that your heart is stronger than you think➰. It can enlarge massively while getting stabbed repeatedly🔄. It bounces back highly after breaking into pieces🔃. It may have a lot of scars in every corner, but your heart elasticity has its own tenacity. Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Your heart always speaks the truth🔅. So remember, your heart matters the most!💗